Case Studies
When a parent is sent to Prison the shattering impact on families is often underestimated or ignored. While the offender is inside, on the outside the families face their own form of punishment.
Many families find themselves feeling alone and helpless within their own communities. There is still a stigma attached about having a family member in prison, especially amongst the South Asian communities, which leaves many feeling lost and ashamed.
Case Study A:
A young, single, Asian mother of two, left all alone when her husband was sent to prison. Mum didn't have any knowledge of English, had no family living in this country, had no idea how simple things like bill paying were done, and couldn't even take her children to visit their dad in prison as she didn't know how to.
Mum was given a leaflet about Saffar by a friend, who explained to her what they do. Mum asked a neighbour to call Saffar and see if they could help. After working with Mum and the children, we can see some improvements. The family has through the Saffar project been on prison visits and have maintained that family link which was causing all members a lot of distress. We have also showed mum how her benefits work, where they are paid in, how she can access her money, where she can pay her bills, and how to use the telephone which has given mum a lot of self-confidence being able to pick up the phone and call someone when she is feeling down.
Case Study B:
Having to cope as an elderly mother whose only support is locked away is very hard. I have Asthma and Arthritis in my legs and hands. I have Diabetes, High Blood Pressure and did suffer from Depression when my husband left me a few years ago. Me and my family have had to listen to a lot of gossip about us, which hurts because why can't our people in the community, just leave us to it?......I've not been to see my son for the last 6 months and he's only been in there for 8 months....when I try to go, I don't have anyone to take me, don't know how or where I go, my illnesses all play up and I just sit and cry waiting....'
Saffar received a letter from the client's son and we have taken mum to see her son regularly which has made great improvements in her well being. We have referred mum to a counsellor, taken mum to Women groups and events where she is able to once again feel like part of a community and have helped mum to deal with the gossiping without blaming herself.
Case Study C:
An elderly man turned up at the centre wanting to know what happens when someone goes to prison. I spoke to the man, informed him how it all works. I than asked him why he wanted to know and the man just, 'just a bit of a family matter'. I informed him about Saffar and what we do, but the man wasn't interested. I gave him our telephone number and asked him to call if he ever ready and gave him some leaflets on the prison system. I didn't hear from the man again.
During our Women and Children Information Day, I was approached by an elderly woman, who asked if she could speak with me. The lady had just heard the presentation from Lifeline regarding Drug & Alcohol abuse and felt like she may need help. The lady informed me that her son had been arrested for Drug charges. Her 3 other children live by themselves, her husband has become more aggressive as he can't face the humility of everything, he acts like our son doesn't even exist. My two other sons don't work, live on their own I don't even know what they get up to......my youngest daughter has dropped out of college and won't stay at home. She is always with her friends. I want some help but my husband doesn't want anyone to know about what's happened. I took her details and arranged to meet her during an evening, to discuss how we can help.
I took booklets on Drug / Alcohol abuse by Lifeline which are in Urdu with me when I went to see the client. I said she could have them and go through them with her husband. The client hadn't seen her son since his arrest; her husband didn't allow her to go to the courts etc. I informed her about prison visits and how we could help. Client asked me to contact her children and see how they were, she also wanted me to speak with her husband and get him to go and see their son.
I called clients children and made appointments to meet them. When I met them, they seemed quite nervous as they thought something had happened. I informed them what Saffar is about and how I had met with their mum. I spoke with them, informed them how their mum was feeling completely alone, could do with some help, and would love to have some contact with them. The assessments went well and we concluded that we would get the daughter back on her course at college as she regrets her decision to leave and only did it due to the stress of everything. We were also going to help both sons produce CV, find employment, training, and courses for them both.
We worked with the family for 5months. This became a very difficult case as I spent a very long time with the father trying to get him to see the other side to things, to be more relaxed and allow his wife to visit her son. After a while of discussing this matter, he allowed his wife to go, and now she is visiting her son regularly. Her husband has accompanied her a few times.
The children have had mediation sessions with their parents and now visit them every so often. The booklets on Drug / Alcohol was read by dad who then knew what signs to look for. He realised that his 2nd son was taking drugs. The book had given good advice regarding how to help deal with such situations. Dad spoke with his son and got him the help he needed and now they have a very close relationship. The son has started work at a take away which he is enjoying a great deal.
The youngest son has started a mechanics course which he will finish next year and the daughter has gone back to college too.
